Nonverbal Communication

Over 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. What is in your mind and in your heart will resonate much deeper than what comes out of your mouth. At some point, you may have heard of this statistic. And it makes sense. We were communicating with groans, eye contact and body gestures before the evolution of language. Through the development of speaking, the human psyche has held on to this basic mode of connection.

Think of it this way: As you make your way out of your boss’ office, he’s slouched over his desk, with eyes downcast on paperwork, brows crinkled in thought and mumbles to you, “Good job on driving home the top sales for the month.” Now think of this perspective: As you leave your boss’ office, he looks up from his paperwork, stops you in your tracks and with an earnest smile, looks you in the eyes and comments, “Good job on driving home the top sales for the month.” The message in both scenarios is the same. Which context will make you feel more appreciated? Which scenario will make you feel your boss truly meant what he said to you?

The heart and mind go much farther than the mouth. The same is true for physical communication. If you lightly swat your friend across the shoulders, while maintaining a grin, your gesture will most likely be taken as a tease. On the flip side, if you swat your friend across the shoulders with a scowl on your face, your nonverbal message will be taken differently. The most important thing behind our actions is our intention.

People may forget what you said, but they will not forget how you said it. Even if words are not expressed, objectives will be felt. Have you ever walked through a retail store and felt the piercing eyes of the sales associate on you? Even when your back is turned? That is an example of what I’m talking about. And in more subtle circumstances, people can feel fear, anger, compassion or joy emanating behind words. We’ve all walked away from situations feeling elated or deflated. This is because the intelligence of our spirit is able to pick up on things the rationale of our mind may not be able to. The intelligence of the spirit can actually take us much further than our minds because it is linked to universal truth versus man-made opinions. When something doesn’t feel right it is our intuition, sourcing from our Being, guiding us. The whispers of wisdom are coming from our Being, speaking to us.

It’s incredibly important to make sure the energy we bring forth will be a good one. If you’re walking into a sales meeting, become aware of your intention. If you have too much fear or too deep a desire to make the sale, the client will pick up on the lacking sincerity. If you need to apologize to someone, make sure you’ve truly worked through the issues within before approaching them. Otherwise, they’ll pick up on the lacking authenticity. If you do not understand something at work, put your guards down and ask for assistance. Humility can actually take you further than ego.

The person we are is what will attract the friends and clients. Sincerity, authenticity and humility go so much farther in life. These ways of being resonate versus repel. So if something is not going your way, take a look inside. Mastery over our emotions is mastery over our life.

MichelleZarrin.com